Sunday, November 8, 2009

One day at a time.

That is my current mantra. Some days are hellacious with me running to the toilet or dry heaving until my eyes water every hour and some are only moderately uncomfortable with just a general feeling of ickiness.

Each day is one day closer to the end of the miserable part. It will get more fun... at least I *think* I remember it is fun at some point.

Last night we switched rooms around. When we moved into this apartment, the front room closest to the door, which is the biggest room and the only one with an installed wall ac/heat unit was the bedroom. Even with a king size bed and 2 wardrobes it was still just a big empty space. The living room was the smaller back room with the balcony and newer windows that are less drafty and definitely QUIETER. Finally, I gave in and we switched the two. Now the living room is big enough for a tea table, a toddler play area, 2 couches and the TV. YAY! Last night wasn't bad. I expected a little hiccup in sleeping pattern because of the slightly new surroundings, but luckily Quinlon was pretty good. I probably had more issues because of it than he did. Just a different set of sounds to adjust too since I was so used to the constant NOISE from the street in the other room.

Tomorrow, I should hear something about the doctor situation. But lately, the more I think about it, the less I am willing to have a hospital birth if we are normal and low risk. I don't want the temptation of drugs even available, because I know how easy it is to give in to the promise of relief in that moment of labor when you hit The Wall. (If you are good at reading between lines you will have read that as "When I was in transition I begged for drugs like cat in heat" ;-))

I'm still pursuing other options of care. I've joined a message board for international midwives and found that it is NOT uncommon for some to travel to mamas just to deliver babies in natural home birth ways in cultures where that standard of care is hard to find. If you pray, I would appreciate any spare prayers or positive thoughts you can send our way that I can find someone willing to do this for us. That situation would mean normal prenatal care in whatever fashion I find best for the time being and a special midwife flying in to hang out around the due date of little Panda. Pretty cool, all in all.

Ok enough of my rambling... I'm really sort of jumbled and overwhelmed today so I just typed what spewed out of my head. If you read it all, you must be either very bored or... well, very bored.


JuliaHefner said...

(guess I'm very bored?) ;) I hope you start feeling better and getting more energy. I was MISERABLE my first tri, and though the m/s stuck around till I was 26 weeks (thank goodness for Zofran) I felt INFINITELY better in the second tri. It took a bit, but I definitely noticed an increase in my energy and general demeanor, and it made a world of difference for me. Hopefully you'll start making that climb soon! And as for the international midwife, that sounds perfect for you! I can't imagine your struggle to find the care you want, especially with the language barrier. (and I won't even get into my reaction to your description of what is 'normal' there...) That would be awesome if you could find an English speaking midwife who could come to you. In all, it makes me so grateful to have a great birthing center in our hospital, and to have had great midwives. Even though I ended up needing a c/s, I knew without a doubt that my midwives and doctors had only my and Wyatt's best interests in mind, not their schedules or my hoohah... ;D