Another fork...

I haven't posted about it because, well, I was having a hard time dealing with the reality of it, but I won't be able to attend TCM school.

Panda sorta threw a giant wrench into that idea.

With just Q, it would have been fairly simple. By next September he would be 2 1/2 which would make breastfeeding either a non issue, or well, still a non issue because at 2 1/2 he doesn't NEED it. So no stress for supply issues because it is far from his main source of sustenance at this point even and has been for MONTHS. Nanny for one child, not so expensive and I would worry so much less since that one child is old enough to communicate his needs.

Now, the reality is, I would be facing a grueling school work load with a not yet 3 month old who would be entirely dependent on my milk. Ok, well I can buy a pump, but trying to work in a pumping schedule with school and homework just sounds less than ideal. Plus, our style of parenting doesn't really make me being away most of the day almost everyday amenable. I know myself well and I know I would be miserable. I would have massive guilt for not being able to be a mother to my baby like I was with Q.

(Please note that I am not making any sort of judgment on women who do go back to work, this is just how I feel for MY family. Everyone does what they must to make things work.)

So... I started looking into other paths I could take. Lactation consultant is out because that still requires schooling that I don't have. Someday in the future I would love to put it back on the table, but it's not an option now. So, what about a doula...? It's still quite a possible option since there is not a requirement for college degree and I am sure I could hook up with some people here and get experience with births and birth coaching. There's tons of literature I that has been recommended me in the past when I expressed interest in this career path. It's also something that I think could work in harmony with Donnie's career of TCM doctor.

But then Donnie suggested I write.

I've talked about wanting to write a book or two but I never felt like I had the credibility, silly, I know. And the topics I am passionate about and could write about, I feel like I want to wait and experience more before I put my voice out there to be published.

But Donnie had a fantastic book idea that would go along with the photography plans I have since we are buying a DSLR. Obviously, I can't really share the details other than it involves an interesting look at the culture we are so lucky to be immersed in. It's scathing, witty, sarcastic and most of all would be totally eye-opening for people to get this sort of look at the bullshit we see and deal with everyday.

So, it looks like I am taking off down a fork that leads to authorship. Best parts are I get to put to use my writing skills, my intelligence AND I can still be a full time MOM.