Friday, November 6, 2009

In response

"Anonymous said...

Good luck getting your requests met, Jessi, and congratulations on the new pregnancy!

I've been reading your blog for a while and have been wondering something. I'm guessing you and Donnie don't intend to become Chinese citizens, and therefore won't be subject to the infamous "one child" policy in China. But does the policy and/or the culture that has resulted from it made things more challenging for you? Do you expect to get some stares when you and Donnie are walking around with two kids? (A friend of mine who is a mother of three is planning to move to China in the spring. During their orientation, they were told to be prepared for that kind of thing.)


I've already encountered a little of the disbelief bred by the one child policy. One of Donnie's student immediately asked if I needed help getting an abortion. And another asked incredulously how I was going to chase Quinlon around while pregnant. In both cases simply explaining that it's normal and common in our culture was hard for them to swallow.

I am actually sort of dreading once I begin to show. We get stares as it is... I know it will only grow exponentially once it is apparent that we are having a second child. As it is, we are semi-famous. Q is a little celebrity and gets away with near murder in public because he is foreign. It definitely works to our advantage most of the time, but the attention is exhausting.

"I hope that you are able to find a care provider who will accomodate your wishes. Is the high rate of C-sections related to the restrictions that were placed on the number of children allowed (opting for a surgical delivery so that tubes could be tied)? It is just so odd for a nation that places such emphasis on more traditional and holistic therapies!"

Yeah, but they are trying to phase out TCM in favor of Western medicine. ::sigh:: A lot of C-sections are so they can just get tubes tied at once, but there is also a social fear about your lady bits getting stretched out and not being pleasing to your husband after vaginal birth. Yeah, I'll give you a second to process that. My Chinese friend also said that at the public hospitals, it is not uncommon for Drs to get tired of waiting on women in labor and just rush to a section for scheduling reasons. Yeah I am sure your panties are as twisted as mine were.

My demands are a bit free thinking for their society. Remember they are communist and a big part of that social aspect is doing what you are told and not questioning things. We so totally do NOT fit in LOL


Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

Thank you so much for the answer! I ALWAYS forget to come back and check for responses in the comments, and appreciate you indulging my curiousity.

I had to laugh at the fear that their lady bits would get all stretched out and become unattractive to their husbands . . . I have always (stereotypically) thought of Chinese women as a bit sexually repressed - it would never in a million years have occured to me that this was one of their fears!

rocket.queen. said...

Yeah it is pretty ridiculous. I dunno how much it is a lack of repression as much as it is the remnants of such a male dominated culture. Gotta do everything to please the man, so to speak.

I assured my friend that it is quite absurd. Otherwise, why would other countries have familes with 2, 3, 4, 10 kids? Trust me, if it doesn't feel good, you don't keep doing it that many times.

Queen Bee said...

interesting post! i had wondered about the one-child policy too.

Sarah R said...

Very interesting! The thought had never crossed my mind. I cannot imagine living in China where it is so common to just kill off an accidental pregnancy or even worse, abort babies just because they are girls.

I am glad Q is somewhat of a celebrity! :)

jenn said...

Very informative peek into the culture- thanks!
I wish you luck & ease on your search- it must be tough to be the focus of so much constant attention!

Colleen said...

This brings a question to mind that I have been wanting to ask.....Even though the "one child policy" does not apply, do you think that you will be forced into having a C-section so that they can tie your tubes? Do you think that "someone" will try to make the decision for you that 2 children are enough?

Christina said...

I hope you can find a place to have the birth you want. There must be someplace that is willing to do things the way you want and not rush into a c-section for no reason.

I laughed about the 'lady bits' thing too. That was one of the first things Josh said when we found out that I'm having a c-section. He said at least I won't be all "stretched out and floppy" down there!

Emmysmom said...

Yes, you are righf, my panties are wadded! I have to wonder, do they ALWAYS tie the tubes when they give birth? if not, then i wonder if abortions are done by the thousands, if there are oops pregnancies after the allowed one child is born? Im from Oklahoma, so I have fo admit, Im somewhat sheltered. I cannot process this Chinese culture or lifestyle. I do love your blog and happy Im learning something new from it even if it is somewhat horrifying! what did Donnie say to the student that offered abortion advice? Ahhh....that is just so heartbreaking!