Sigh

This weekend was rough.

ER trip for mysterious pain which turned out to be Quinn kicking me too hard and aggravating a nerve, but we did get another look at Quinn and it was amazing. He is gorgeous. He has my nose and Donnie's bone structure and feet LMAO.







I love, love, love every minute of this. Being a mother is the greatest journey on earth.

Won't do that again!

Anyone who knows me know that I LOVE Horror movies. I am somewhat of a horror movie connoisseur especially where it comes to zombie/vampire movies.


They don't normally scare me, but apparently pregnancy hormones plus really badass horror movie equals a teary eyed hyperventilating Jessi.



We saw 30 Days of Night last night and it was phenomonal. Completely did justice to the comic book AND not a trace of bad acting to be found. I was very impressed, well, when I could pry my hands out of Donnie's arm or remember to take a full breath. It was a tense tense movie and my poor hormones just couldn't handle it.



Soooo, lesson learned.


But for the rest of you, GO SEE IT!!!

Can we talk about this not sleeping thing...?

It flat out sucks.


I got to sleep and sleep great from say 9:30PM to 2:30-3:00 AM, then proceed to spend the next 3-5 hours tossing and turning barley dozing and definitely not enjoying a peaceful slumber.

I can't put my finger on what it is making me so uncomfortable, either.




I am beyond frustrated and am considering tranquilizer darts on a large scale.








Maybe I need more pillows... sorry, Donnie, but this is all about ME! ;-)

Yikes... hormones are mean!

I dislike the mood swings.


A LOT.










But, I think I felt Quinn today. 2x. I am not 100% sure, but it was a slight little tap... both times in the same spot. The spot he likes to hang out as proven by the fact he is on that side every time we chase him around with the doppler.


:::Edit:::

I definitely felt him tonight! It was so awesome. It was a fluttery, rolling sensation. It happened for just a minute or two, but it was unmistakable this time!!

Wow...

So much has conspired lately.


It's strange the whirlwind pregnancy throws your life into in EVERY aspect.

I have a job. It pays ok, but not enough for me to be able to be a MOM first and foremost.

What choices do we have...? Bad credit, no college degree... ugh, it's upstream all the way in this damn country.






So we're leaving it.


Donnie's heart is in China... his kung fu master is in China... our new life will be in China, at least for 6 years.

We're moving to Shanghai, China to go to the college of traditional Chinese medicine. World renown and cheaper than a stupid useless bachelors degree here in the States, we will be DRs!!!!! I'm talking acupuncture, herbology, moxibustions, cupping... The whole shebang.

I LOVE IT. I am such a science nerd and this is perfect with our pseudo Chinese lifestyle/attitudes.

Soooo, we're saving as much money as possible and moving after Quinn is born. We'll have jobs teaching English waiting on us when we get there where the work week is only 20 HOURS... Uhhhh, yeah! After a year, so we have a chance to completely learn Chinese and most importantly the written language (characters) required to enter medical school there.

I am so excited. There are no words. It's going to be soooo hard, but the payoff is a CAREER that I can enjoy and have all the time I need to be a MOM!!!

It's so easy...

to forget what you have in the face of what you can't achieve. We're all guilty of it, and despite my greatest efforts not to fall into the "Why me?" trap, at times I find myself there.

My best friend in the whole world lives with heartbreak everyday and she is my hero. I adore her and it breaks my own heart to know there is just one thing she wants more than anything else and her path to that goal is more than just uphill... she's fighting sea monsters and hurricanes and marauding squirrels (hah!). In all seriousness, I currently have the one thing she aches for and she has never once resented me for this... she knows about my struggles to get here and the casualty on the way. She has every right to abandon me and the symbol of her seeming unreachable goal to save her own heart.

But, she doesn't and I can never thank her enough for valuing our friendship above the natural jealousy that could tear us apart.

She is family to us. I pray for her constantly in the hope that she can join me on the "other side" of the fence and feel the incredible joy of pregnancy.

I wish there were words for me to fully explain how much she means to me and how deeply I love her and her amazingly generous heart. I cannot imagine my life without her and I know she feels the same about me.

On the coattails of this revelation I sit back and am awestruck by just how much I truly have... An adoring husband, an extraordinary friend, loving family, a comfortable (although sometimes ghetto) roof over my head, a nice car, clothes on my back and food in my fridge and most amazingly a gorgeous son in my tummy awaiting his chance to complete our little family.

I am truly blessed beyond words and humbled by the list of things that are right with my life. I may not be filthy rich or even close, but my life is so rich that my heart aches with happiness.




The only words I have left are "Thank you." You know who you are and you are the reason my life is worth living.

16 weeks in and

I am starting to look pregnant instead of chubby...




I still need to scan the u/s pictures so I can post them, but we have no scanner.

And the verdict is...

BOY!!


So we have a little Quinlon Jade on the way!!

Looks like almost everyone was dead on with guesses and mother's intuition is right once again!

He's measuring perfect. Everything looks healthy and on track. He is definitely not shy at all, takes after his father in that department.

He spent most of the u/s squirming and making fists at the probe. Apparently, we've got a little kung fu disciple already.

Donnie says he has my mouth and looks more like me. I couldn't really tell either way, but he's jealous so I will go with it. HAH!!