Sunday, February 10, 2008

ooooh man.

I knew this was coming but I had no idea it was going to be so messy.

From day 1 we've had the stance that we want just 24 hours ALONE with our son to bond as a family. We are in no way trying to keep him from people, but personally, I just feel this 24 hours is so important to all of us.

I hate having people in my house when I don't feel well and I'm pretty sure I will feel like SHIT the day after I give birth to my first child.

Well, mother in law is on the warpath, accusing us of trying to "hide and keep" Quinn from her. In her eyes, it should be like when she gave birth to her sons: family there from the minute everything started. Sorry, but I am a private person and NO ONE will be privy to my stretch marks and the condition of my crotch just so that they can feel included. I don't expect her to be particularly happy about our decision, but she is trying to guilt me into allowing her to just show up when she wants.

NONONONO. This is MY birth and I will not be bullied.

She gets to be the first visitor AFTER we've had our 24 hours of privacy... It's not like we'll be in a hospital where the nurses will chase everyone away to let me rest, so I've got to put ground rules into effect so that we don't get overwhelmed and over-visited right out of the starting gate.

And if she thinks that her stay is going to be a long one, we'll have another fight, I'm sure.

She promised to quit smoking when we got pregnant. Here I am 6 weeks from my due date and she claims to have cut back, but she still reeks of cigarettes. We've told her she will not be holding Quinlon if she stinks of smoke... I am not sure she really believes we will actually follow through on that threat... she's not going to be happy if she tests us on that one.

I'm really upset by this whole load of crap, but Donnie is a complete hero and is taking care of it all. I refuse to even discuss these issues with her because I have nothing to discuss... It is the way it is going to be, the end. Let her fight with Donnie, because I really can't "play nice" at this point. I am too tired, out-of-breath, cranky, and hormonal to bother with manners anymore.



Anonymous said...

good for you, stick to your guns... your "da mama", what you say goes... she should respect that... and back off...

Stephanie said...

OMG, I did not like that everyone and their brother wanted to be with me. I ended up having a small army in with me though.

I say stick to your guns and make this about who and what is important. What a tool, tell her to back off and way to go Donnie!

Monica Fayth said...

I guess you can just not tell anyone that you've given birth until after your 24 hours.

Brianna said...

That sucks hun. I have the same feeling on all of it and I know shit's going to hit the fan when the time comes. Good luck!

Ashley said...

I think we have the same MIL. Mine insisted on coming w/ us to the hospital the night I was being induced so she would "know where we were." Grrr. I told EVERYONE and their brother that I didn't want anyone but my boyfriend in the room or anywhere around me. Turns out, my boyfriend's parents were in the waiting room the whole time and didn't want anyone to tell us. I was like, dude, wtf. Next time you can guarantee no one will be around.

And I too like the idea of not telling anyone for the first 24 hours. After it's done what the hell are they gonna do about it.

Fellow DS mama here. :-) Holla.

Nicole said...

Good for you, 1000 times over. First off, the 24 hour 'ban' is a great one. This is YOUR call the shots. I don't know why most of us allow ourselves to be bullied by family (in my case, especially in--laws!), but we do! Also, STICK TO YOUR GUNS about the smoking. My MIL still smokes (she claims to have quit but you can smell it before she's even in the door) and we have yet to visit her at her house because of it. I have never once second guessed that decision because it is for the health of my babies, and that is bigger than not hurting someone's feelings, kwim?
CONGRATS!!! I'll be watching for the arrival!!