Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Why do I feel so crappy emotionally?

I hate everything... well almost, and I feel apathetic towards everything else. Maybe it's stress...? I dunno, but I am just not "with it" anymore mentally and everything pisses me off.

Exhibit A: Creepy lady at work.

Yes, this is the same woman who justified calling me huge, "rollie pollie", and insisting I would have to be induced early by saying that "It's ok, we're friends." The very same person who is a prostitute on the side and has her own personal website to hire herself out. Gagging yet? Well, she's 50 and looks like she's 110. Yep, you're gagging now.

BITCH, I am NOT your friend, and never was.

Now, she just stares at me. *shudder*

Let me explain. We sit in cubicles that aren't really cubicles, but more like a row of zigzags that is set up as desks. Where it zigs(/ \) there is a computer at the apex. So both sides of the structure can be used. You end up staggered but kinda facing each other. She sits across from me and since we can't have normal cubicle walls that extend high enough to offer privacy and we have glass from about chin level up, you can see each other if you turn your head slightly to the left or right.

3-6 times a day, she stops whatever she is doing and STARES at me for 30 seconds to 2 minutes or so. Yes, I have timed it. It's that disturbing.

Today, I finally had enough of her gross gawking and turned, looked her in the eyes and said, "What the hell is wrong with you? Could you NOT stare at me 5x a day? It's freaking CREEPY!"

Her response: "I'm not staring at you, I'm thinking.


All the while my coworkers behind me are having hysterical giggle fits at our expense.

Exhibit 2: My house is a wreck.

Does it bother me that my house is in shambles? Somewhat. But not enough that I can make myself do anything about it.

Some days I'm lucky I manage to even cook dinner because I can't seem to motivate myself into doing anything but moping around. It's driving me crazy and I think Donnie thinks I've gone off the deep end.

Is this just hormones?? I mean, I never felt like this prior the stretchmarks and near loss of bladder control...


Is it fucking March yet?


Nicole - Raising Animals said...

It's that final month or so of pregnancy that made me never want to get pregnant again. It will pass. The closer you get to your EDD, you start to feel a little more motivated to get things ready for baby. Then, the last 2 weeks will be worse than any 2WW you've ever experienced! But it will all pass. Just be very aware of PPD! That stuff can be scary!

Brianna said...

((hugs)) I feel that way for a couple months every winter. I think it's called seasonal depression or something? ::shrugs:: I suppose it could be pg induced but it sounds like maybe you're just fed up with stupid people. Nothing wrong with that. I think it's natural to go through different levels of tolerance in our lifetime's and your tolerance is a little on the low side right now. And b/c you're feeling it so much, it's probably bringing you down and that's not motivating. Try some me-time. Just breathe, read a book, knit, sing along to a great album, whatever it takes to make you feel better, if only for a minute. :)

Christy said...

Everyone who has had a child has been where you are and can totally sympathize with you. I hope you *feel normal* soon.

Hopefully that old cow will get a clue and leave you alone soon. DOesn't she remember what it like when something else is in charge of your hormones???


Smitty76 said...

I can't speak on being pregnant cuz I've never been there personally...all I can say is that my pregnant friends have attested to MAJOR mood swings and crazy hormones.

And about creepy office-worker? OMG, I would NOT deal well either with someone staring me at a million times a day! That is not right!

Stephanie said...

oh suck ass, darling! I wish it away. I wish it away NOW!

Poltzie said...

pregnancy emotions - yeah I get that!