Thursday, November 15, 2007

Looks like I've been written off.

10 days later, no reply.

I know she got the email. My Granny said she mentioned it to her when they talked after our lunch date on Saturday.

I did my part. My conscience is clear and if she can't give me the courtesy of at least acknowledging my effort... then fuck it. I tried, right?

It stings, I won't deny that. But I am the better person here, obviously, and I will just go on living my life the way that makes me happy. I've got my family right here and it's all I need. Her fucking loss.

Pardon me while I bury every last feeling of good will towards my parents.

I feel that I should put the disclaimer out there that, yes, I understand that maybe she is taking her time for some very legitimate reason... blah, blah, blah. Does it really take 10 days to find words? ~shrug~ I doubt it.


jenn said...

I'm sorry you haven't gotten a reply yet. Not to play devil's advocate (just curious)- would you have felt better getting a reply that said "I got your e-mail, I don't know how to respond yet"...

I do hope it comes soon- but the human heart is such an unpredictable thing. {{{hugs}}}

Nicole - Raising Animals said...

Oh Jessi. I'm sorry hon! You'd be surprised at how little time you'll have for extended family activities once the baby comes anyway. The family you're creating is the most important thing you can do right now. xoxox!

Christy said...

Huge {{{HUGS}}} to you. I know how if feels and trust me you are the better and stronger person. It stings now but it will get/feel better.

I am a firm believer that you do not need to be blood related to be family :)

BluuJae said...

Hey Girl, I'm so sorry your mom is being so difficult at such a special time in your life. You'd think she'd want to share it with you. But if she can't see beyond the hard feelings and let go of her grudges, then maybe You, Donnie and Quinn are better off.
I wish the best for you and yours.

rocket.queen. said...


honestly, in a way it would have. It just seems pretty callous just to ignore it. I think even the acknowledgment would have made a difference. Bu acknowledging it also means she is admitting that I have something to say.

Stephanie said...

oh this is just not appropriate of your Mom. She was pregnant once, this will always be something she regreats in days to come. Just leave the door open when she's ready to speak. I hate this is even happening to you. Big hugs, love. Just put it aside to think about later. You enjoy your boys and your beautiful pregnancy. Kisses.

jenn said...

Oh- I hear you- it does seem pretty heartless to ignore your child. I think some people just can't ever admit they were wrong.
Just hug your little dino close & know that your little family is the perfect one for you.

Poltzie said...

I'm sorry - that fucking sucks!
I agree with Nicole though that your family is now the most important thing and it sounds like Donnie has always been there for you! Maybe she will come to her senses and maybe she won't but you are right, you did what you could, you are the bigger person. All I know is that time heals and hopefully as the days go on and you find new little miracles with Quinn this will sting less and less!
Take care,

Tammy's Thought Pattern said...

I am so sorry, Sweetie. I can't imagine not wanting to be part or my own childs life, no matter what.

She is going to be the one missing out and having regrets and the ~if only~ conversations with herself.

My heart breaks for you and I will keep you in my prayers.

{{Big Hugs}}

Tammy's Thought Pattern said...

OH, and I forgot to add... I have a plaque on my wall at home that says, "Friends are the family our heart chooses."

I honestly believe that too.