Light at the end of the tunnel

The Zantac has been helping. He's been much better during the day but at night he was still having attacks. Not as bad as before, but still pretty gruesome.

Well, until tonight. We are having a good night... yay! More later when I am not getting kicked in the stomach.

It's been 48 hours...

well, a little more than 48 hours since starting the Zantac. We ~should~ see improvements today. I guess time will tell if this medicine will work or if we are going to need to pursue different treatments.


Sleeping half sitting up on the couch with Quin is getting old for my back and I miss my husband.

And in the next few days, I may be seriously MIA as we are moving and I dunno when the internet is going to be switched to the new place.

This should be fun.

Let me elaborate...

Over the past week, Q has been sleeping less and less and I've noticed some odd symptoms.

When he does sleep, he wakes up after only 30 minutes to an hour screaming in pain. During and after nursing, he would arch his back and throw his head back and gasp and cough. Sometimes during a feeding, I would hear him gulp funny and then he would pull away and screech. Some evening he would just scream inconsolably and the only way he was comfortable was upright. And, while he doesn't spit up per se, he would always have a little milk come up with each burp.

Tuesday evening while he was screaming with no end in sight and I was on 2 hours of very broken sleep, Donnie called the pedi's after hours cell and she ordered us to come in the next day.


It seems he has infant reflux (GERD). It could be related to a food allergy so I've been ordered to not eat peanuts, eggs, dairy, soy, and wheat/gluten. She also prescribed Zantac because the choking and gasping needs to be resolved because it can lead to life threatening interruptions in breathing.

It's been a long, hard, grueling week on next to no sleep and we are praying that the Zantac will do the trick and bring back our happy, relaxed little baby. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, we really need it to get through this rough spot.

<3

ANYONE?

Any of my lurker/friend/poster pals have any experience with GERD?



Q has it.


:-(

It's all a blur...

My son has decided that he doesn't like to sleep.

That's right. I am the one person in the world with a newborn who can go an entire day with only sleeping 8ish hours.


Oh look, he barely slept an hour and now he is waking up.






I am so shot.

$213.50

That's the damage. The irony is it was through an area he drives EVERYDAY. AND it's an area I am ALWAYS telling him "Slow down, it's only 40 mph through here because of construction". (The rest of the road is 60 mph).

I could cry.

He was lucky enough the cop didn't put it was a construction zone, but we really can't afford $200 right now.






Oh yeah, and my STD insurance is only going to pay for 6 weeks, instead of the 11 they originally told me they would pay out.


We're so fucked.

I sorta let this slide...

But the anniversary of our miscarriage in 2006 passed about 2 weeks ago... (only 4 days after Q was born).


I want to just take a moment and 'remember' our little angel.

My dearest Evelyn,

Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. We know you could not stay with us very long, but cherish every little moment we had with you. We know you are with your ancestors and so much better off than anything we could offer you. Thank you for blessing us with your presence at all. And thank you for watching over us these past 2 years and for sending your little brother, Quinlon to fill the hole in out hearts. He is gorgeous and you must be so proud of him. He is so lucky to have a big sister like you to watch over him. He will love you as much as we do... he probably already does, you know how infants just seem to know things no matter what us silly adults might think.

I hope one day to rejoin you in the afterlife, my sweet sweet little girl, or maybe one day you will return to us here on earth.

We adore and miss you incredibly much.

Love always,

Mom and Dad and Quinlon

Ugh...

We went to the pedi last night because Q had a temp of around 100. I panicked and to the Dr we go.

The child has gained 3 more oz in just 2 days, WTH is in my milk, steroids?

He still has a low-grade temp, but it acting like he feels better today. He has a diaper rash that won't go away so the Dr gave us some big gun butt ointment Rx to get it cleared up.

And just because you all might kill me if I post again without pics...








That is Q with his new friend Shao Fu. Seriously, cutest owl lovey ever.

Spider is DEAD!

Ugh....


I hate that motherfucking species.


Now it's dinner and laundry at mother in laws house and shower for ME. I obviously didn't get to take one with the spider from hell in my room.

C'mooonnnnn

As if having a newborn isn't hard enough, there is an invader in my bedroom aka the place where everything I need to care for my child is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider

I hate central FL for this reason.

Donnie is calling the landlord immediately to get an exterminator out here. That fucker is hiding in my bedroom. My bedroom is incredibly messy, but what the hell am I supposed to do with a newborn, CLEAN? Ugh. I am so upset. I hate hate hate spiders and have already vomitted and had a panic attack over this one. This is after I ran from the room carrying anything I could grab in tears in my underwear while trying not to drop the screaming newborn who was almost asleep at the time.

DAMMIT

Happy Tuesday.

The general goings ons

My family has left and it was a bit tearful. For the first time in years, I feel like part of the family again. My sister was super nice and spending time with them was so nice, not unpleasant or awkward at all.

After they left, my Granny called me to tell me that they were all impressed with how I was adjusting. She said they are proud of how calmly I deal with a screaming newborn. It was so nice to hear that I had basically been approved as a good mom by two of the best there are.

Quin had his 2 week appointment today.

Quin now weighs 9 lbs 7 oz and is 22 inches long. He's growing soo fast! He is in the 90th percentile for length, 50th percentile for head circumference and 70th percentile for weight. He's only in the 30th percentile for height/weight ratio, but the pedi said it's because he is very tall for his age!

Otherwise, my little dinosaur is perfect! Now he's sound asleep and I am quickly following!

I've been MIA

My mom and sister are here from TX with my Granny from Tallahassee. It's been amazing. It is really crazy how something like a baby can smooth over years of ruffled feathers and grudges.

I will have a picture post coming soon, once they leave at least.


I have to thank everyone who has given me the most amazing advice and encouragement over the past couple weeks. It was not easy (and I am sure it will still be fucking hard in days to come), but as long as we take it one day at a time we can not only survive, but OWN this.

<3

Whoever said...

2 steps forward 1 step back was right.


Also, I learned the hard way NOT to be in the car too much. Quinlon sleeps and mommy can't.

Whoops...

I passed 100 entries without realizing it. Heh...


Have I mentioned how amazing my husband is. He has today off so he actually took care of the bay dino all night and just woke me up to feed him. I actually got around 6 hours of GOOD sleep.

A friend of ours gave us this bear called "Womb Bear" that plays a recording of the sounds the baby hears inside the womb. That thing is GOLD. It actually helps him sleep when he is slightly fussy and instead of having to hold him to get him to sleep he actually STAYS asleep in his crib with it on.

But all is well here. We've got some pretty good thunderstorms all day today and lightning just hit a tree near our house and it was so loud I just knew it was going to scare Quinlon. The boy didn't even flinch. So now he is nice and cozy, sound asleep and I am off to watch some TV and nap as well.


That's our update. Happy one week to us!!!!

What do I do?

He sounds a little rattle-y in his nose... Could that be related to the fever? Maybe just a little cold?



Why do I feel like such a terrible mother?


:::Edit::: And GODDAMMIT, why won't my MIL listen and STOP wrapping him in blankets?!?!?! He has a FUCKING fever, let's just make him hotter.


I am so glad she is leaving. It was nice the first night because I actually got 6-7 hours of sleep... but now it's just turned into her knowing sooooo much better than I do. Uh, yes you have had two children I will give her that, but you don't swaddle a baby who is running a temp and sweating!!!!!!!

Yikes...

Being a new mom is so scary.

Quinn has a low grade temperature of about 99.3 at the highest. He was super clingy all night last night and wanted to eat every 30 minutes or so.

Needless to say, I did not get much sleep and when I did it was after he had dozed off on the boob and I got so stiff in one position on my side cradling him.

He's still running around 99 degrees and I'm a complete mess, checking his temp every 10 minutes and holding my breath waiting on the little beep. I'm sure he's fine. I even went so far as to call my ever-so-sweet midwife in tears asking if he was ok or if I should panic (which is where my state of mind was headed).


Poor Donnie is at his wits end trying to keep me together and every evening I do my damnedest to fall to pieces and bawl my eyes out.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.


Deep breath and dive right back in. I've got diaper laundry to do while he is still sleeping in his carseat from dropping Daddy off at work earlier.

I have the best friends in the world.

Steph, I am working on emailing you back, dollface. <3

It's already getting better. Each day is a little better than the last and it really does make the light at the end of the tunnel seem so much closer.

Nancy, I really appreciate your input. It's really nice to hear from you and you are right, babies seem to make every other aspect of your life so insignificant. I have been blessed with a very good baby. I guess I paid my dues with 26 hours of hard labor. Ick. I just never knew how totally life changing this is. I mean, you know, but you never really know until wham, bam, thank you, ma'am you're handed this squirmy crying creature that is totally dependent on you.

I WILL survive. I have so many wonderful people pulling for me.


Jewels, that story has stuck out in my mind from the moment I read it. It really struck a chord with me and it is so true. There are moments you just want to hide and never come out, but then you take a deep breath and take it one mini-crisis at a time until you get through another day.
And anyone who wants more pics, email me! I'll send you the link to my photo gallery for Quinlon.

Email: jessi.dooo "at" gmail "dot" com

Word of the week...

Overwhelmed.


This is by far the hardest thing I've ever done, and definitely the most rewarding.


And as ready as you think you are for post partum emotions/hormones, you're not. I really wish I had someone here to lean on besides Donnie because when he goes back to work I am going to be a mess.